Mark writes about music judgement.

Author:  Mark Seymour.

Date: 26 June 2022.

Original URL: N/A.

Article Text

‘Music’

I don’t hate any music. Sure, there’s some I’d rather not hear, especially at the gym. But I’m not offended by it. It doesn’t make me angry, or feel the need to start waxing philosophical to whoever’s listening while I’m doing my chin ups..

about its fundamental unworthiness or how it panders to the capitalist construct.. or.. how the beat is puerile.. or whatever..

I just can’t see the point in getting ‘upset’ about it if it isn’t my ‘thing’.

I used to of course, back when letting other musicians know what music was ‘bullshit’ and what wasn’t was code for who was in and who wasn’t. A bit like picking sides for volley ball at lunch time..

Little boys seeking validation from each other.

None of it had anything to do with the song.

The point is, if I hear something that actually moves me.. that fills me with wonder or melancholy, a certain turn of phrase, or a rising chord that drives me to go for my precious thirty chin ups.. well, that’s my business right?

And make no mistake. It could be anything.

I’m not going to force it down your throat though. Not now. What would be the point? The horse has bolted. So what’s cool? Fucked if I know. Me telling you ‘you’re wrong’, or sneer at your playlist, isn’t going to effect the song one bit. I can guarantee you, the song will, as they say, continue to walk the earth in its own way. Besides, if it’s a cracker, it will walk for years regardless of what point you might try to score so you can show me how superior you are..

Still, there are those amongst us who on hearing ‘Coldplay’.. will eye roll immediately..

“Uggh.. Not Coldplay!!”

But rather than being reasonable, with a gently probing question..

“Oh dear. Is this because you’ve heard ‘The Scientist’ so much on the radio, (like thousands of times) that you’ve simply grown bored with it.. or does your visceral contempt run to something much deeper? As in, does your contempt for Coldplay indicate how interesting you are as a human being? That your vast intellect demands greater listening challenges? Otherwise what?

You might die?

But no..

Better to follow the lead of a conversation once heard in a filthy St.Kilda flat thirty-five years ago mid arvo, a bunch of us sitting ‘round an upended fruit box, drunk, stoned and listening to vinyl..

Chris gets up to change the record, which might’ve been Bruce. He liked Bruce and I liked that about Chris.. because back then, amongst the cognoscenti, Bruce was a dirty secret …

So Chris puts on ‘Tom Waits’..

Up until that moment, the entire room was effectively comatosed. Punks on the couch.. fully rigged, spectacular, heads back.. eyelids fluttering

But suddenly one of them arcs up..

“Uggh.. NOT TOM WAITS?”

And our Chris immediately roars back..

“What the F#@CK is WRONG WITH TOM WAITS?”

He had a point. After all, who was going to argue? We were all too fucked. I mean.. you wanna have a chat about it? Do you wanna deconstruct? Will we pin TOM WAITS down right now? And by the way, who’s got the bong?

Or maybe we can just shut up and LISTEN TO IT?

And so.. thirty-five years later, in a moment of blinding clarity, trapped in a moving vehicle on the Hume Highway.. having just sung in front of Hunters and Collectors in Wodonga.. you launched back..

“What the F#@CK is WRONG WITH COLDPLAY?”

Got some pearl thrown back like ‘the drums are dull’

Yeah maybe..

But see, also MAYBE, it was just some weak bit of gas light and nothing more… this business of making your contempt so utterly condescending it had nothing to do with Cold Play at all and everything to do with who was in the car. Mock the other guy’s taste and elevate you own status at the same time.

But you know what?

Just go and write a song mate.. See how that works.

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